Turning the Page...

Jessica has informed that I quote too much and too often. Instead, this entry will be about the things that are wrong today.

It is sunny and I am tired. These two problems compound each other because just when my tolerance for bright light is at its lowest, nature double crosses me and turns on the high beams. Some people may attribute their depression to Seasonal Affective Disorder, but mine is pure Jeff and the sunlight only exacerbates my already foul mood.

Also related to being tired, I have given up coffee. A morning double shot of espresso had become an unpleasant and welcome part of my routine for a while. I have given it up in protest of the departure of the barista at Bar Giuliani. She will never know quite how much her espresso meant to me. I went there twice after she quit and both times I was treated to shots of the most putrid muddy espresso imaginable. Imagine THAT!

I have hiccoughs and I refuse to spell them phonetically. These are violent hiccoughs that are more akin to epileptic spasms than to the shortlived childhood malady that can be cured with a spoonful of sugar. My hiccoughs send me reeling into walls and my eyes rolling into my head as a repulsive burping groan forces its way past an aching throat. These awful hiccoughs are nearly always the unwanted result of the characteristic fits of unexpectedly high-pitched girlish laughter that peal forth from my person at times of great mirth. I often hiccup when I laugh at funny times, but I don't like it. My hiccoughs seems to have subsided temporarily, but my chest cavity still aches with their violence and I know that it will continue to do so for the rest of this horrendously sun-dappled and mockingly beautiful spring afternoon.