A funny sort

"Papaya farmers can be a funny sort. Ask them if they’d rather have a boy or girl, and without hesitation every last one of them will say “hermaphrodite”—if they’re talking about papayas, of course."

Pnin Cover by Jerzy Faczynski

Who would say something like, this is the "best Nabokov cover I've ever seen--blows the sh**ty Vintage/Random House motif out of the water?"

Well, I would, and did, and there weren't any asterisks in there at the time.

Beall, owner of Ruby Tuesday, on their "transformation"

“We lost about 5 percent to 8 percent of our base by upgrading, mostly at lower income levels,” he says with a shrug. “Very few people miss the roller skates on the wall and the bad food.”

Five Best at Granta.com

This is a picture of me and I wrote these, even if my name appears nowhere.

Tell me more

"In the lab, adult teeth soaked in white wine for a day had a loss of both calcium and another mineral called phosphorus to depths of up to 60 micrometers in the enamel surface, which the researchers say is significant."

Tell me more about this exciting new. . .what did you call it? A mineral? PHOS-PHOR-US? What, BBC? What?

Fair enough

"In this respect, I can’t help regarding medicine cabinets, vacuum cleaners and dead sharks as reckless investments. Somewhere out there in collectorland is the unlucky guy who will be the last one holding the vacuum cleaner, and wondering why."

Though a single* reasonable sentiment in the midst of a display of stunning douchebaggery is no redemption.



*There may have been a few more.**

**Nope. Nevermind.

Unacceptable Award

"It had been observed that some who develop high fevers could be cured of syphilis. Thus, for a brief time malaria was used as treatment for tertiary syphilis because it produced prolonged and high fevers (a form of pyrotherapy). This was considered an acceptable risk because the malaria could later be treated with quinine which was available at that time. This discovery was championed by Julius Wagner-Jauregg, who won the 1927 Nobel Prize for Medicine for his work in this area."
From Wikipedia

Unacceptable attachment

"So attached was the author Patricia Highsmith to snails that they became her constant travelling companions. Secreted in a large handbag or, in the case of travel abroad, carefully positioned under each breast, they provided her with comfort and companionship in what she perceived to be a hostile world."

From Snail by Peter Williams

A Reading

I read at a Joyland:Chicago event today. With Olga's and Levi's help, of course, and Dave's tacit support. It was my first reading since Interrobang.

Dreyfus Affair and the Man on My Wall

What I Overheard a Chicago Cop Say Today

"Why did I become a cop? Free transportation, free gas--plus, my job is to go out on the highway and fuck with people! And nobody's gonna fuck with me back! I'm a cop!"

Also, remind me to tell you the joke that a different cop told me last month while I was eating tacos. It was enough to chill whatever is usually warm and peel things best left unpeeled.

Enough really to soothe anyone. . .

"In the proposal, which The New York Times examined, Mr. Young asserts that he assisted the affair by setting up private meetings between Mr. Edwards and Ms. Hunter. He wrote that Mr. Edwards once calmed an anxious Ms. Hunter by promising her that after his wife died, he would marry her in a rooftop ceremony in New York with an appearance by the Dave Matthews Band."

But this strains CREDULITY: "Ms. Hunter gave her daughter the middle name Quinn, and people who have spoken with her said its resemblance to the Latin prefix for five was to proclaim that the baby was Mr. Edwards’s fifth child. (He had four with Mrs. Edwards, the oldest of whom was killed in a car accident)."

From the NY Times

Yuppie Paradise

It's come to my attention that I never posted pictures of our new apartment. Here they are:





Honestly, that feels like enough, doesn't it?