Oh What a Tangled Web We Encode...

I am trapped in the staticky undergarment of anxiety. The Internet has always seemed like my friend. It provides me with hours of enjoyment and the means to communicate with bundles of buddies and piles of pals, to use imagery that is oddly evocative of the Holocaust. Tonight, the Internet fills me only with the violent feeling of abandonment. I have been left by the side of the information superhighway, completely helpless and unable to do anything but use an over-tired phrase from Al Gore's 1991 campaign speeches. I am not exactly technologically savvy. In fact, I am so lacking in savviness that I have used the word savvy (or some derivative) three times already and that's not really very cool. You might be interested to know, however, that the word savvy(#4) is, according to the Oxford American Dictionary anyway, a late 18th century pidgin English word from the Spanish sabe usted. That IS cool, but I am not. I cannot write or edit HTML effectively and I do not know even what kind of software I would need. I'm really good at deleting useful portions of code that I didn't write and cannot replace. Sometimes I download new software and I delete it all because I cannot figure out how to use it. I pretend these events don't happen, but they do.

Basically, I never know exactly what I am doing and I feel troubled and lost and betrayed by misleadingly simplified websites like Blogger and Geocities that have lulled me into a false sense of competence with their formulaic methods and ease of use.
I am ill-equipped for the future.
Hell, I am ill-equipped for the present.
What's more, I am too panicky to more properly equip myself.

M'aider! M'aider!