Overheard in New York, (Th)re(e)visited

Guy on cell: The blood bank's coming and they want me to give blood...Naw, I'm like, "I'll give blood for Yankee tickets." I've done enough for good causes. You know, I gotta hold on to that shit. That's my blood, man.

Observant girl, pointing at something on the sidewalk: Is that an animal?
Downright perceptive guy: No. That's a pair of pants.

Mother: Don't you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]
Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?

Woman: I'm sorry, I know this is probably a lot to ask for, so I apologize, but do you think that you could maybe close your legs a little bit, please?
Dude, with his legs still spread wide: No. My balls are too big.