Some Things to Think About

When Jessica was a little girl, she had a pet turtle. (It might have been a family pet, but the turtle's owner is not important to the story; I just offered the owner so that you might have a frame for the story. I should have just said that it was my fucking turtle). As a special treat, her family would buy the turtle live goldfish to stalk and kill (a fine treat). Each time they bought goldfish, they bought ten goldfish and each time they dumped them into the tank, the turtle would tear them to pieces with his beak and swallow them gleefully. (As a side note, you've not seen glee until you've seen a turtle's glee. I haven't seen glee.) One day, Jessica's family bought ten goldfish and dumped them into the tank (something of the Minotaur in this, yes?) The turtle hunted and devoured nine of the sacrificial Thebian goldfish. (The victims were from Thebes, right? In the story about the Minotaur? Who killed the Minotaur? Was it Perseus? Thesaurus? Theseus? Pectoris? Whatever. He lived on Crete. The Minotaur, not the turtle and not Pectoris. The turtle had a tank, I guess, and Thesaurus is from Thebes, maybe, but maybe Athens). The turtle hunted and devoured nine of the Athenian goldfish. The tenth goldfish befriended the terrible turtle (I cannot actually make any judgment on the turtle. We were never familiar and I'm not sure what ethics and etiquette apply to Turtle-Goldfish relations. I also don't know how hostile their relations were, if it was friendship or tolerance or what) and they lived happily (again, an assumption) together for many years. The day came when Jessica's family went on a vacation and left behind the turtle and his fishy colleague and, for whatever reason, the turtle ate his friend. And maybe the Minotaur was from Minos. Or maybe that was Midas. Is Minos a person? I think the Minotaur is from Crete. The important thing is that the turtle ate his friend and, if Jessica goes on vacation, you can all expect me to eat each and every one of you. Also, I am not an expert in Greek mythology.

Also, during an unexpected daylight rendezvous with Aaron Wittrig, Jessica supposed that maybe Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is baby suicide. Which is definitely something to think about. A way to opt-out early on. You're born, you develop your senses well enough to look around, the world is deeply unappealing, so you roll over and die. And the world is deeply unappealing. Maybe all the SIDS KIDS are just smarter than the rest of us.

Also, a colleague told me a funny joke:
Question: To what question is the answer 9, W?
Answer: Herr Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?

This is only actually funny when spoken in an exaggeratedly heavy German accent. Or when you're delirious with fear.

Also, Happy Birthday to Olga! Yesterday.