The Enemy of the Ocean is my Friend

Because all bodies of water are treacherous and deadly (a human being can drown in as little as two inches of water), I think that I might move to Ürümqi. Aside from its obvious fame as the capital of the Xinjiang Autonomous Region of the People's Republic of China, Ürümqi also bears the distinction of being the most remote city from any sea in the world. Ürümqi being the city closest to the Eurasian Pole of Inaccessibility. Hear that, you murderous sea vermin! Hear that, you horrifying trout! INACCESSIBILE!

I'll be on the next plane, bitches...and I'll arrange a route that is as much overland as possible.