Why I Will Never Succeed
I don't do anything right.
This morning, I found the alarm so soothing that I did not wake up to it. Rather, I incorporated it into my dream. When it finally did occur to me that I needed to get up, I decided to roll over--I sleep with my back to the alarm--and hit SNOOZE. I did so, but rolled back with too much gusto and I smacked my face on the wall.
Now I have a bloody lip.
Once, when I was 15 years old or so, I stepped on a push-pin on my bedroom floor. Thinking myself clever, I picked it up so as not to step on it again. I placed it, with the sharp side pointed up, on my clock radio. When morning came, and my alarm went off, I blindly reached over to shut it off and found the pin in my hand--
--which awakened me.
On the day before yesterday, I fell down our icy stairs for the second time this winter. Yesterday, I neglected to salt them--ALAS!
Last night, I ventured out of the smothering embrace of Hyde Park to meet Olga and see Paul Verhaeghen & Dominique Fabre read at a clothing store. It was pleasant and good. Tonight, Jessica and I will creep out once more to celebrate Kristen's birthday at Kingston Mines.
If we see our shadows, it's six more weeks of bloody winter.
This morning, I found the alarm so soothing that I did not wake up to it. Rather, I incorporated it into my dream. When it finally did occur to me that I needed to get up, I decided to roll over--I sleep with my back to the alarm--and hit SNOOZE. I did so, but rolled back with too much gusto and I smacked my face on the wall.
Now I have a bloody lip.
Once, when I was 15 years old or so, I stepped on a push-pin on my bedroom floor. Thinking myself clever, I picked it up so as not to step on it again. I placed it, with the sharp side pointed up, on my clock radio. When morning came, and my alarm went off, I blindly reached over to shut it off and found the pin in my hand--
--which awakened me.
On the day before yesterday, I fell down our icy stairs for the second time this winter. Yesterday, I neglected to salt them--ALAS!
Last night, I ventured out of the smothering embrace of Hyde Park to meet Olga and see Paul Verhaeghen & Dominique Fabre read at a clothing store. It was pleasant and good. Tonight, Jessica and I will creep out once more to celebrate Kristen's birthday at Kingston Mines.
If we see our shadows, it's six more weeks of bloody winter.
posted by jw at
8:27 AM
1 Comments:
Alas, friend, you will surely never succeed.
Right now I'm baking vegan scones. I'm not vegan. What is wrong with me?
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