From the London Review of Books Personals

They say the pram in the hallway is the enemy of art. Not true. Astaroth, Threshold Guardian of the Infernal Plane is the enemy of art. Join me in my battle to rid this world of his Satanic intent by sending care-home vouchers to his long-suffering daughter and one-time sculpturing genius, 37.
box no. 08/06

I am the sharpest knife in the drawer. You’re the brightest spoon. Man, 38, Balham.
box no. 08/12

Man, 41. Not the sharpest sandwich at the picnic.
box no. 07/01

Women to 35 – you’re all invited to the party in my pants. It’s bring a bottle and, please, remember to remove your shoes before you step on the carpet – mum’s just had it cleaned. Stupid man, 33.
box no. 07/05