Notice

Anniversary, little chickens.

Happy.

3!

Don't Guess Which One is True

"If you were really recording our conversation last night, you are absolutely the creepiest person I've ever known and I'll never be
comfortable again. If you didn't record our conversation last night and made a fake transcript, you're a genius and that was amazing. We were both on our A-game with that dialogue."-Mike Squeo

A Running List of Movies I Have Seen (6/18 to 7/26)

Now with unexplained star ratings! Out of five stars

First Viewing
Capote (2005)***
Casino Royale (2006)*
American Psycho (2000)****
The Boys From Brazil (1978)***
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)*
SiCKO (2007)***
Le Cercle Rouge (1970)****
The Edukators (2004)**
The 39 Steps (1935)***
La Scorta (1993)**
Naked (1993)*****
Ravenous (1999)****
1408 (2007)*
Dylan Moran: Monster (2004)**
City of God (2002)***
Factotum (2005)****
How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman (1971)*
Romper Stomper (1992)*****
Shop on Main Street (1965)***
L' Enfant (2005)***
The Maltese Falcon (1941)****
The 400 Blows (1959)****
Notes from Underground (1995)***
Clean, Shaven (1994)*****

Repeat Viewings
Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)***
The Departed (2006)****
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)**
Ocean's 11 (2001)***
Dark City (1998)*
Sin City (2005)****
The Bourne Identity (2002)**
The Bourne Supremacy (2004)*
The Usual Suspects (1995)****
The Breakfast Club (1985)**
Schultze Gets the Blues (2003)****
The Punisher (2004)**
Reservoir Dogs (1992)****
V for Vendetta (2005)**
Batman Begins (2005)***
Pi (1998)*****
The Dirty Dozen (1967)****
Dirty Pretty Things (2002)*****
Amélie (2001)****
The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)***

I watched all of these movies alone, except for SiCKO. Hey, Kristen.
And Ravenous & 1408. Hey, Olga!
And Dylan Moran: Monster. Hey, Olga & Mike!

In all, 44 movies in 38 days. I need to stop this.

From Chinese Letter by Svetislav Basara

"Today my name is Fritz again. I have one problem: I exist. My biggest success in life is that I'm not dead yet. My biggest failure in life is exactly the same thing: I'm not dead yet. I was born and as a result I suffer all the consequences. If I exist, that's because I wanted to. I don't see any other possibility. I honestly envy those who don't exist. Those with no names and shape. Those who have no clue that they don't exist. But sooner or later they'll be drawn into the game too. Everybody succumbs in the end. If it weren't so, people would stop having children."

The Crickets and the Cicadas are battling for supremacy.

and I kind of miss my girlfriend. A lot.

A New Low

What an obscenity. I mean, I eat all kinds of filth, but the Crispy Cone? Really, people? This is the future of American cuisine? Next will be pizza paste in a tube. Food in a tube is still the lowest, I guess.

Portrait of Ignominy (First of Many)

While brushing my teeth this morning after my shower, I dripped a huge glob of toothpaste into my chest hair. My efforts to cleanly remove it were futile so I got back in the shower. Once the water hit me, I completely forgot that I had already bathed and I didn't remember until I was again completely lathered. With soap.

I was still early to the bus stop.

An Ode to the Workday

Sickening nausea, filth and feces, vomit and bile, abominations!
Chills and sweats, bloated guts, moist upper lips. Cold snot.

Unfocused eyes and trembling hands!
Shredded senses! Churning stomachs!
Itchy gums and teeth.

Sweating palms and whistling nostrils.
Ragged phlegmy throats, thick wet coughing.
Exquisitely painful bleeding cuticles.

Panic! Fear! Self-loathing! Unabating horror!
The sensation of hair growing on chilly knuckles and humid ankles.

Flatulence. Swimming vision. Confusion. Disorientation. Vertigo.

A prayer for release. A plea for death.

The Enemy of the Ocean is my Friend

Because all bodies of water are treacherous and deadly (a human being can drown in as little as two inches of water), I think that I might move to Ürümqi. Aside from its obvious fame as the capital of the Xinjiang Autonomous Region of the People's Republic of China, Ürümqi also bears the distinction of being the most remote city from any sea in the world. Ürümqi being the city closest to the Eurasian Pole of Inaccessibility. Hear that, you murderous sea vermin! Hear that, you horrifying trout! INACCESSIBILE!

I'll be on the next plane, bitches...and I'll arrange a route that is as much overland as possible.

Filth

He’s trying to hide his dirty fingernails but that only brings attention to his thick graceless hands with their round fingers and bulging knuckles and so he tries to hide those by turning them up and showing the meaty pads of his palms which are less embarrassing until he notices the cracked skin and scars and then the heavy hands swallow themselves to get away.