Book Review: Tranquility

I reviewed, at long last, Tranquility by Atilla Bartis for Three Percent.

Also, Jessica and I have gotten engaged. In honor of the occasion, she presented me with a beautiful wristwatch which has given me a memorable rash. Isn't it romantic?

Things of Which I Approve

The USPS
The United States Postal Service is a massive army bent on the efficient delivery of parcels and correspondence. It is the definition of order and function and it hires by merit and without regard to race and class. The USPS is the jewel of the American civil service.

The Interstate System
The single greatest contribution to national commerce, travel, self-knowledge and literature in the history of the United States. When this depraved nation crumbles into obscurity, the Interstate System will live on for generations, as in an overrated Cormac McCarthy novel.

but also, Mass Transit
It should be the responsibility of every government to provide safe, clean and reliable urban transit to its citizens. Watch the economy BOOM and the middle class EXPAND.

Clean Fingernails
This is just good sense.

Food as Entertainment, Art & Culture
Much can be said for efficiency and productivity, but eating quickly causes indigestion and my understanding is that eating should lead to digestion instead. Let's all take a little more time to enjoy our meals, ok? Let's savor rich and well-made food, luxuriate in flavor and texture and really appreciate a cold beverage. There's no reason to rush through lunch in a half hour.

Photo Collage
This can be very clever and quite enjoyable!

Comfortable Footwear
Also good sense. Aesthetics should never contradict function.

and I repeat, White Oxford Cloth Shirts
Few things feel as civilized to me as Oxford cloth. A nice stiff collar makes a man feel like a man. A clean white shirt is the soul of dignity.

There are many more things of which I approve. These other things include, but are not limited to: Parker Jotters, well-kept beards, the teaching of lethal arts to pacifists, the moderate consumption of alcoholic beverages, bowling, pizza-by-the-slice, intensive foreign language programs, government subsidy of literature, dimensional standards imposed on book publishers, Apple Computers, the compositions of Fats Waller, the abolition of high-fructose corn syrup, the well-being of my friends and loved ones (to the exclusion of others), brisk autumnal strolls, equity in education, the care and upkeep of public thoroughfares, the preservation of this federal union, the gorgeous appeal of the umbrella, the banning of Comic Sans, the destruction of Carthage, compulsory public service, socialized healthcare, photo-sensitive eyeglasses, a return to the gold standard, the paving-over of parks and the sodding of rooftops, the removal of most public sculpture, and the criminalization of techno music.

From Tranquility by Attila Bartis

"I hate that there are more writers in this country than people who know grammar."